A little brother is nagging his teen sister to gain her attention.
The teen sister snatches little brother’s muscle man toy and throws it across the room.
The middle sister comes to the rescue and hits teen sister for throwing little brother’s muscle man.
Teen sister retaliates and punches the middle sister in the arm.
NOW…Teen sister is hollering, “MAMA!” because she knows she is in trouble.
The middle sister is screaming, crying, and near death (dramatic) because she was hit on the arm.
Little brother is screaming and crying because teen sister took his muscle man and threw it.
To top it all off…the wiener dog is barking and freaking out from all the noise.
Sound familiar?
I am a proud father of three wild and crazy but wonderful kids, teen sister Ashlyn (13), middle sister Brinley (8), and little brother William (3). God has blessed my family beyond measure, and these three kids are my everything, but being Daddy (or Mama) is not always a walk in the park. There isn’t a mother or father in the world who would dare say parenting is easy. Parenting is one of the hardest jobs, if not the hardest job, that God has given us. Yet, on the flip side, parenting can also be the most rewarding and fulfilling thing we ever do in life. The Bible tells us that children are a blessing and gift to parents. Some parents may sometimes question that biblical truth, but it stands true. Every single life, every single child, is a reward and blessing from God. Whether they are bringing their parents pride and joy, or teaching parents to be more patient and forgiving, children are a gift from God. God knows that children can bring us closer to Him and help us grow our Christian character as parents.
“There are times as a parent that I am left confused and worried that I am not doing it right.”
As a father of three, I sometimes wonder what my children might say about me as their daddy. There are times as a parent that I am left confused and worried that I am not doing it right. Anyone who watched me grow up would shiver at the very idea of my raising kids. It’s not that I was a terrible kid, but my decisions were often questionable. I was mischievous and always seem to be breaking things. There is no one better person to testify to my childhood warpath than my now pastor, then best friend’s dad, Brother Danny Lanier. I don’t deny that his 4-wheeler had to go in for repairs every time I left his house. Even when I broke his expensive belongings, he was always kind and showed the love of God to me. As an adult, I now see the man had the patience of a saint. I’m not quite sure how I was always welcomed back to his house. Even preachers have lines in the sand…right? I certainly try to remember my own crazy past and mimic those who showed me God’s love, as I try to lead my own children in the way God would have them go.
When it comes to parenting, there is an unlimited number of self-help guides from every doctor and shrink in the world. Not to say I have this parenting thing all figured out, but I could take this entire article to share my own “learned the hard way” parenting advice. Don’t worry. I won’t torture your intellect with my own mindless ramble. However, I would like to take this time to look at some text from God’s word: our single source for instruction and guidance in all life matters. All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16 CSB). After all, who better to get your parenting advice from than God Almighty?
LITTLE EARS…
Deuteronomy 6:5-9 CSB
5.Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6. These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. 7. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8. Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. 9. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.
As Christian parents, it is our duty to teach our children about the things of God. We are to teach them about God’s word and how to follow his commandments. We are to teach them the importance of prayer and how to have a personal relationship with God. As parents we are to teach our children that worshiping God is constant, not reserved for Sunday mornings or good night prayers. Worshiping God is to be done at all times – at home, on the road, at night, and in the morning. Remember, little ears are always listening. To whom are they listening? What do they hear?
LITTLE EYES…
Although our kids can learn a lot from our teaching, they learn so much more by simply watching us. For this reason, all parents are to be careful in what they say and what they do. I call my son William my little shadow. He wants to go where I go and do what I do. He mimics everything I do, and he is always watching me. I smile when I walk into my bedroom and find his tiny boots placed perfectly next to mine. I smile when he wants to wear a hat just because I am wearing mine. As parents we all have little shadows, even if they are not so little anymore. What examples are you setting for your little shadows?
Proverbs 22:6 CSB
6. Start a youth out on his way; even when he grows old he will not depart from it.
It is important to take your children to church, but it’s equally important that they see you in church, worshiping and serving the Lord. As parents, we are to encourage our children to take part in the ministry and be active contributing members of the church body. I love to see kids who serve as ushers, kids who take part in local community missions, and youth who travel to foreign mission fields. It is important that your children see you studying the Bible, but even better, set time aside and study God’s word with your children. Get on your knees beside your children and pray with them. Teach them how to pray and what to pray for, not simply, “God is great, God is Good…” but real, meaningful conversations with God. The purpose of any parent is to raise productive children who can live and serve in the community. Being a good Christian parent means raising your children to do the same, all while obeying and worshiping the Lord.
LITTLE HINEYS…
Proverbs 13:24 CSB
24. The one who will not use the rod hates his son, but the one who loves him disciplines him diligently.
Despite what the world teaches, time-out and 1-2-3 is not Godly discipline. Godly discipline, when done correctly, is an integral part of being a good parent. I can tell you for certain, I had no lack of proper discipline in my younger years.
My mother had a switch bush that was growing at the corner of the fence in the backyard. Anytime we Hatcher kids got into trouble, Mama would tell us to go cut a switch. Of course, the switch you cut is the switch you were getting a spanking with. As we got older, my mother would leave us home alone after school. One day after school, we got the not so bright idea to slowly start cutting down Mama’s switch bush. Little did we know that by cutting the switch bush, we were grooming it, making it more healthy, and promoting switch growth. That switch bush doubled in size that summer! The switches were thicker, stronger, more abundant, and seemingly endless!
Mama knew all too well about the hidden reset button that all children come standard with…it’s located on their hind ends! I certainly didn’t think so at the time, but I know now that without parents who believed and practiced Godly discipline, I would be much worse off today. I strongly believe that my children also benefit from my parents’ Godly discipline. It’s fact that children who grow up in undisciplined households feel unwanted and unworthy. Undisciplined children lack direction and self-control, and often grow up to rebel, showing little or no respect for any kind of authority, including God’s.
LITTLE HEARTS…
Colossians 3:21 CSB
Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they won’t become discouraged.
While discipline is to be stern, at the same time, it is to be balanced with love. Discipline without love creates children who grow up resentful, discouraged, and rebellious. God never condones physical abuse nor instructs us to be abusive, physically or emotionally. Proper Godly disciple is firm, consistent, and always done with the same love, grace, and mercy God has shown towards us.
As a parent, have you ever disciplined your child only to have the Holy Spirit turn right around and give you a big ole spankin’? You say to your children: You are not listening to me! Why do you refuse to do what I say? How many times do I have to tell you? So often when disciplining my own children, my own words cause me to self-inspect and repent of my disobedience unto God who is my Father. It’s as if God is talking directly to me and correcting me through my parenting. This revelation brings deeper meaning to the old saying, “This is going to hurt me, more than it’s going to hurt you.”
No matter the child or the parent, the hiney or the heart, discipline is painful when it is happening. That’s the way God designed it.
Hebrews 12:11 CSB
11. No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful.
Later on, however, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
SO…What is the encouragement for parents here?
When you feel like you’re failing as a parent, or when you feel you are doing it all wrong, remember God’s instruction for us as parents. Remember God’s love, grace, and mercy he has freely poured out on us, even when we don’t deserve it. Don’t give up and don’t give in! Be consistent and be firm! Remember that your Godly instruction and discipline have purpose, and later on, it will result in peaceful fruit and righteousness. You may not see the result now, but stay steady and stick to God’s parenting plan.
3 John 1:4 CSB
4. I have no greater joy than this: to hear that my children are walking in truth.
My mark of parental success is when all three of our kids leave home with salvation in Christ and a life focused on God. When I witness my children teaching their children, setting a Godly example in life, and giving Godly discipline to my grandchildren, I then know my wife Misty and I have done what God called us to do as parents.
Little ears are listening…teach and instruct your children about the things of God.
Little eyes are watching…set the example in all you say and do – lead by example.
Keep their little hineys burning…Godly discipline is an integral part of being a good parent.
Nurture their little hearts…show them the same love, grace, and mercy that God has so graciously shown towards you.
As for all the chaos? It will have been totally and completely worth it!
Awesome, Lucas, Awesome!