Admonition – Why We Hate It/Why We Need It

My daughter, Giana, is five years old and attends pre-k. One of the disciplines she is currently trying to master is writing her name. It’s progressing from looking like sideways squiggles that take up half a page to something that sort of actually looks like “Giana”. Several months ago, I was stooped over her shoulder trying to help her a little with her letters..you know, keeping them straighter and helping her make the “A”s look less like “O”s. Partly because her name isn’t “Giono”, and partly because as an adult who has been down this road before, I realize that in order for her to move forward in her studies she needs to be able to write. This is the building block for advancing to math, science and literature. She can memorize story books now, but how much more joy will she have when she can write her thoughts for herself? I can picture her writing poetry and letters to loved ones, but for now she just needs to conquer writing her name. Because I can see her bright future, I’m correcting her work. After three tries at following my instructions, she flung her pen down in frustration and said, “I’M DONE” and got up and walked away from the table….

First, let’s unpack what admonition is and what it isn’t.

Godly admonition is correction or instruction given in love by a brother or sister in Christ to another brother or sister for the purpose of seeing them move forward in their relationship with the Almighty God.

What it isn’t: It is not a rude, self-centered comment aimed at a brother or sister in order to “convict” them of something. It is not a blanket Facebook post that is actually directed at one or two folks. (Insert eye roll here.) It’s not “schooling” someone in a spiritual topic we deem ourselves masters of. It is not rude, does not boast, is not haughty..wait! I think I’ve heard all this somewhere before! Godly admonition will line up with the fruits of the spirit, not buck them. Basically, to admonish a brother or sister apart from the love and discernment from the Lord is a sin. We need to stop that jazz, because it gives true admonition a bad name.

Why We Hate It

Admonition is at least uncomfortable, and is sometimes actually painful. Remember David’s pain when Nathan confronted him about his affair with Bathsheba and the subsequent murder of her husband? 2 Samuel 12:1 starts with  “And The LORD sent Nathan to David.” Here Nathan is, coming in obedience to the Lord to call out the king! He could have literally lost his head. But, David was brought to pain and conviction over the impact of his sin. It’s interesting that David didn’t even try to defend himself, because many times that is the first place we go. We think our brother or sister has it all wrong. We think to ourselves; “They aren’t exactly saints themselves. Who are they to call us out?” But if our brother or sister has truly come to admonish us in the Lord, it is likely harder on them than it is on us. They have risked losing a friend because they have been obedient to God’s sending and they desire to see us grow in the Lord. That is love, friends.

Why We Need It

Do we often find that that the Holy Spirit has already convicted us of something and we have ignored it? Then, by His Grace, He sends our brother or sister to admonish us. And we have the gall to be mad about that? Because we couldn’t listen to God in the first place? Hardheaded bunch of humans. We need admonition to aid in our spiritual growth and maturity. We can look to Paul’s letters to the churches to see an example of true admonition. As he wrote to the church at Thessalonica, he both encouraged them AND admonished them.

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves. And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.’  1 Thessalonians 5:11-14 (ESV)

We see this is a wonderful outline for both admonishing AND receiving admonition. We need this instruction so that we can learn to admonish others well. The modern church seems to have encouragement down pat, but we cringe at its fraternal twin, admonition. Why is that? Bottom line- Pride. The admonisher can be worried about what will be thought of them, and the admonished can be rebellious and angry. In actuality, giving and accepting admonition requires for pride to be set aside and humility to take the forefront. Admonition is a gift given by God to eradicate sin and bring us closer to Him. And what true child of God doesn’t want to be closer to Him?

So, let’s get back to Giana writing her name. Ultimately, the next step past admonition is discipline. Lil Sunshine DEFINITELY sat back down to finish writing her name. And now, she’s learning to master it. I can’t wait to see how far her little pen will take her. Her success brings me such joy!

First comes the spirit check, then the admonition, then the discipline. We saw that with King David and his sin and we can see it in our own lives. God doesn’t hate on His children any more than we hate on ours. It’s the opposite..He brings admonition about in our lives because He delights in us and wants us to move closer to Him.

When we view admonition in light of the eternal, we will see its place in our spiritual maturity. We will appreciate what it took for that brother or sister to lay down their comfort level to tell us the truth. We will take the sandpaper as the price for a smoother road to Jesus that is paved with less sin. And we will be able to impart instruction and correction to those younger in the Faith with love and respect. Ultimately, this will all lead us closer to Him.

All for His Glory, Amen.