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A Reason (or Two) to Celebrate

December is a month filled with celebration, and it’s not just Christmas. People of the Jewish faith celebrate the eight nights of Hannukah, and the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day is observed as Kwaanza in many African-American homes and communities. That’s just the beginning. Along with these and other celebrations in other cultures, there are some rather unique days, too. Continue reading “A Reason (or Two) to Celebrate”

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Making Changes

You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.  C.S. Lewis

In a few weeks, we’ll be facing the beginning of a new year, and there will be talk of New Year’s resolutions. The prospect of beginning anew is exciting.  Making changes in our lives, however, even good ones, can be hard.  Continue reading “Making Changes”

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Little Eyes

A few Sundays ago, a little boy in our church sat with our family during the evening service.  As the pastor began his message, I grabbed my notebook and began writing. He nudged me and whispered, “What are you doing?”  I explained that I take notes during the sermon so that I can listen better and so that I can go back and remember each week’s sermon. A few minutes later, I looked over, and he was copying my notes on his own piece of paper that he had found in the back of the pew. Continue reading “Little Eyes”

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#SquadGoals

Dorothy, Tin Man, Cowardly Lion, and Scarecrow.  Monica, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey.  Snap, Crackle, and Pop.  Christopher Robin, Pooh, Piglet, Roo, Tigger, and Eeyore. Rizzo, Jan, Marty, Frenchy, and Sandy.  Iron Man, Spider Man, Thor, The Hulk, Captain America, and Black Widow. Kate, Kevin, and Randall – the big three. Peter, Andrew, James, John, Philip, Bartholomew, Thomas, Matthew, James, Thaddaeus, and Simon. Or, back in the late ‘80s, way before the term “Squad Goals” was a thing, those three young gals that met up after school each day to ride bikes all over their little town, stopping by the local grocer to grab snacks on their parents’ house charge:  Jen, Heather, and Sarah Beth.

#SquadGoals:  affectionate term for a group of friends;  a term given to our conversational (and social media) language by the current, youthful generation. I like to think of my squad as those with whom I choose to share life:  the ups, the downs, and the in betweens.

As a mom, I have often encouraged my kiddos to choose their friends wisely.  They have heard me say and can themselves recite in their “mom-voice”:  “You’ve got to be a friend to make a friend.” “Be kind to everyone, but be selective with those you allow in your inner circle.”  I have prayed aloud over my children and prayed in private for my children’s friends for years — “Oh, Lord, please bring them friends that will encourage them and their walk with you.  Bring them friends that will point them to you, Lord!  And, please, Lord, let my kiddos be that kind of friend to others, too.”  However, ladies, we need to choose our friends wisely as well.

We need GOALS for our SQUAD!

  • Those friends with whom we share life need to be reading and studying the Bible, God’s Word.

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” (Colossians 3:16, ESV)

The people with whom we spend the most time tend to have the most influence on our lives.  In a dark world that is in great need of a Savior, I desire all the godly influence and wisdom I can receive to battle the struggles of this world.  I want the people I allow to influence me the most to be those who are allowing the Word of God to influence them — through their time of reading and studying.  We go to our gal pals for advice.  I want that advice to be guided more by the Scripture they are consuming than by their own personal opinions. I want my squad to take me to the Word when life is being celebrated and when life is kicking my tail.

“Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” (1 Corinthians 15:33, ESV)

I can often tell with whom my kiddos have been hanging around by the mannerisms, lingo, or habits they bring home.  They pick up the habits (good and bad) of those friends with whom they are spending time, and they begin to mimic their friends.  Knowing this is the same for me, I want my squad to spend time in the Word.  I want to pick up habits of spirit-filled, Scripture soaked friends.  Their habits will be more fruitful and pleasing. The habits I pick up from these friends will more likely imitate Christ.  What does the Bible do?  It points us to Christ.  Gals, I want friends who are feeding on the Word, because they’re going to point me to Jesus.

And we need to be that kind of friend, too; we, ourselves, need to be reading and studying God’s Word.

  • Those friends with whom we share life should be prayer warriors.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”  (James 5:16, ESV)

Prayer aligns our hearts with the Lord’s.  It is the resource that we should utilize first; it is not intended to be used as a last resort. Prayer unleashes the power of God in our lives.  God holds everything in the palm of His hands.  Our friends cannot give us what He can give.  Our friends are gifts from God, and He may use them to share His gifts with us.  However, the greatest gift a friend can give us is to lift us in prayer — tapping right into the source of life to meet and exceed our every need and expectation — to bless us with His presence, His peace, His comfort, His strength, and so much more.  There are no friends like praying friends — we’re on their minds and in their prayers.  They are running to the throne of God in Heaven on our behalf.  They are waging war against Satan for us on their knees.  Glory! That is powerful.  Those are the kind of friends we need in our circle.

And that’s the kind of friend we should be; we need to be bathing our friends in prayer, too.

  • Those friends with whom we share life should have our best interest at heart when they correct us — even when it’s hard for them to say, even when we may not want to hear it.

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” (Colossians 3:16, ESV)

If we were sleeping in our bedroom with a “Do Not Disturb” sign hanging on the closed door when a fire broke out in our home, would we want our friends to politely say, “Oh, she doesn’t want to be bothered.  I won’t wake her” ? No, our friends would beat down the door before they let us burn.  And we would want them to do so.  Friends will warn you or admonish you of sin in your life; they do not want to watch it destroy you.

Knowing that a life lived God’s way is the best way, our friends should encourage us to live a life that imitates Christ.  When there is sin in our life, our squad should point it out (in love), because they don’t want us to miss out on the joy and the abundant life we experience when following Jesus. We should be able to trust them to be honest with us even when it’s hard to do so.  We should respond to their warnings with appreciation for friends that love us enough not to let us continue down a path of destruction.

And we should love our friends enough to be honest with them about sin in their lives.

  • Those friends with whom we share life should not gossip or whisper about others to us (or to others about us) — that’s simply not a friend; that’s a “piece of wood.”

“For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.” (Proverbs 26:20, ESV)

Gossip and whispering about others is a sin. (period) Sin in our life robs us of joy.  It interferes with our relationships with Christ and others. Sin has a price tag — earthly consequences and without salvation through Jesus, eternal death.  Many relationships, friendships, and reputations are ruined by the idol and sin played off as “just” gossip.

Our inner circle should be a safe place to seek refuge and prayer in confidentiality. Whatever is shared in trust among a squad should be discussed only between one another and God.

A heartbreaking testimony and prayer request of a dear friend led to a lesson learned and a rather funny catchphrase.  This sister shared with me how her family had been hurt and affected by the gossip and unnecessary talk of others whom her family had once considered friends.  She and her husband walked through that season with their children still living at home.  They prayed and hoped to respond to the hurt and those causing it in a manner that pointed others, especially their children, to Christ.  If I remember her story correctly, she was driving with her youngest child one day when they saw a so-called “friend” who had caused the family such strife with her words.  In a moment of hurt and frustration, this child grumbled, “Oh, you, you, you, you ole piece of wood!”  My friend had shared how it was somewhat comical and relieving that her child could not come up with anything too hurtful to say about the lady.  Later, while studying Proverbs, I rediscovered verse 20 in chapter 26.  I couldn’t wait to tell my friend that her child’s response that day in the car was actually biblical! Someone who gossips of others is simply a piece of wood — they keep the fires of quarrel burning.

Gossip kills friendships.  Our squad should not practice gossip to us or about us.  Real friends will talk to you, not about you.

And, ladies, our words should help and heal. We should be quick to listen and slow to speak. Let’s not be a “piece of wood” either.

  • Those friends with whom we share life should encourage us with their words, friendship, and love.

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11, ESV)

One of my hubby’s all time favorite sayings that the kiddos can also quote in their “dad-voice” is this:  “We’ll never build ourselves up by tearing others down.”  Words of affirmation, love, and encouragement are powerful and life changing.  Our squad should speak life into us with their words.  Just like we should be able to trust them to admonish us in love, we, too, should trust them to affirm our gifts, our purpose, and our being with their words of encouragement.  I recently learned a quote that goes hand in hand with my hubby’s famous instruction of building up others:  “It takes 30 years to grow a tree, but it only takes 30 seconds to cut it down.”  Our squad needs to invest in growing us with their sincere encouragement.

And, ladies, encouragement needs to be a language that’s frequently spoken to our friends.

When Jesus is our best friend, godly friendships we share here on earth are an absolute gift from above.  I challenge you and I challenge myself  — be the kind of friend to others that we want to have.  These are just a few goals to get us started:  study the Word, pray for one another, admonish sin in love, refrain from gossip, and be quick to encourage.