It was just turning into the holiday season of 2017 when my husband lost his job. I felt anxiety, despair, and panic roll in at full force. I immediately thought of all the things coming up at the time. Christmas was only weeks away, along with all the extra expenses. He was about to start medical school, and we had no idea how we were going to make ends meet living off student loans. We were trying to save for a down payment and buy a house, so we could move near the school which was over an hour away. All of these worries filled my head, and the anxiety of how we would pay our bills, let alone have the money for anything extra, threatened to suffocate me.
I had a choice in that season.
I wish I could tell you that my faith took over and that I trusted God to be in control. I wish I could say that I believed He would see us through no matter what. The reality is, I went through that season doubtful and afraid.
But can I just tell you what an amazing God we serve?! He looked at me in the midst of all my fear and faithlessness and completely took care of every detail in a way that went beyond anything I could ever dream up. He gave my husband a new job that paid substantially more AND worked with his pre-med college class schedule. He also provided a way for us to buy a house near the school quickly, and without a down payment. Not least of all, He brought about a contract with a nearby hospital to help us pay our way through school.
The grace that was shown to me in the midst of that season, despite all my fears and lack of faith, proved to me just how loving my heavenly Daddy is. Even when I couldn’t see how any good could come out of it all, even when I questioned and worried and despaired… that season became a defining moment in my faith journey. That season became a milestone that showed me some deep truths and led me to such a stronger faith, that now I look back, and I can see the beautiful purpose God had for me through everything.
The situation I went through is so tiny in the grand scheme of eternity. There are many people around me walking through much more serious challenges than I faced. But, friends, I share this small testimony out of humility, to encourage your heart in the truth. God didn’t say that He will stop every bad thing from happening. Sometimes bad things happen simply because we live in a broken and fallen world. BUT He does PROMISE to be right there with us when they do….
He sees. He knows. We can REST in the fact that our heavenly Daddy is right there with us through everything we face in this life, working it all out for our good and His glory.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
Romans 8:28
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.”
Isaiah 43:1-2
“My brothers and sisters, think of the various tests you encounter as occasions for joy. After all, you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. Let this endurance complete its work so that you may be fully mature, complete, and lacking in nothing.”
James 1:2-4
“From the end of the earth will I call unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”
Psalms 61:2
Though it might be completely contrary to how we naturally think, may we embrace the season we are in, whatever the challenges may be, and rest in the promises of our Father.