Making Changes

You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.  C.S. Lewis

In a few weeks, we’ll be facing the beginning of a new year, and there will be talk of New Year’s resolutions. The prospect of beginning anew is exciting.  Making changes in our lives, however, even good ones, can be hard.  When we try to start a new habit, we may feel dragged down by dwelling on the bad choices we have made in the past.  It’s really easy to let negative thoughts take over our days.  We may have thoughts that begin like this:  I can’t do …  or It’s no use trying to …. or Why can’t I do this?  I have days like this.  I think the first step in making positive changes in our lives is tidying up our own little corner of the world. Don’t try to make too many changes all at once. What can you do to make positive changes in your life? These are a few things I’m working on.  Maybe some ideas here would be helpful to you.

First, fill your mental space with positive, affirming input.  Maybe there have been times that you’ve looked back at your day and felt like you accomplished nothing because you spent too much time looking at email, Facebook, Pinterest (my personal favorite) or on watching tv programs mindlessly, certainly proving that a body at rest really does stay at rest.  Most of these activities don’t improve our minds mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually. Bible study, devotional, prayer time is the foundation for a healthy day.  It also prepares us to approach anything that happens in our day with extra spiritual and emotional strength. There are times when I have to work on seeing the positive in me and in the day.  I easily lapse into pessimism, and I know that’s not how Christians should perceive the gift of each new day.  I have to consciously work on seeing the positive in me and around me.  We should strive for this:  “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things.” (Philippians 4:8 NKJV)  Notice that all these things we’re instructed to meditate on are wonderfully positive things, things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely.  I want to try to see the good that’s around me. Being positive is a choice I can choose to make… or not.  It’s up to me.

Next, address disorganization.  In the past, my life was very structured and busy when I went to work each day to teach.  Now that I’ve retired,  there are “free” hours.  I had previously had a schedule to organize my day, but without a structured work day,  disorganization reigned.  I would begin one task, drift off to another, then back to the first, and at the end of the day, no task was finished.  Months ago, I began to keep a log of each task I did during the day and a

to-do list of those things I wanted to get done, just so I could look back at these and think, “See!  You did finish all these tasks today.”  This really helped me.  It felt good to have a list of completed accomplishments to write down.  My to-do lists began to be completed in an orderly fashion.  At the supper table, when my son asked that dreaded question, “What did you do today, Mama?” I  could quickly recall my list and have some concrete things to share. Now, I don’t still feel the need to keep an actual list to keep me organized, but I do keep a mental list of the things I’ve accomplished.

Avoid procrastination (a good friend of disorganization).  I know that aside from the need to get things done in a timely way, procrastination is a mental and emotional weight.  I feel loaded down with all the things I know I need to do when I procrastinate. This steals energy that I need to get tasks accomplished and makes me feel frustrated with myself, which leads to more discouragement and even less energy to move forward.  I’m convinced that the only way to begin to get a handle on this habit is to break down jobs into small bits and JUST DO IT.  I’ve noticed many times that at some point in doing the dreaded tasks, I realize that, hey, I do feel better physically, emotionally, and mentally because I’m getting things done.  I can cross that task off my to-do list. I’m still working out how to be my own boss, I guess.  This is a continuing process, I’ll have to admit, but I’m working on it.

Finally, as I try to form good, new habits while I also break away from old, bad habits, I remind myself to take advantage of the amazing power and support of good friends to help me make the changes I’d like to see in my life.   I’ve begun to value even more than ever before, the energizing, uplifting, power of good, faithful women friends.  If you haven’t read Sarah Cooper’s sharelife.me article about what it means to be a true friend, please read this.  This sort of friend is what we all need in our lives. True friends are encouraging, supportive, trustworthy, loving people of good character.  They build you up to make you want to be better than you ever thought you could be, and they are there when you make mistakes, when you grieve over losses, when you must make tough decisions, when you need someone to listen, when you need someone to pray with you and to pray for you.  We need this.  I can’t speak for men, of course, but from a woman’s perspective, I’ve found that women sometimes think they must handle everything, the job, the house, the kids, the church work, and the list goes on, by trying hard to do it all alone.  We can do many things, but we need woman to woman support to have the emotional and physical energy to do our jobs.  Count on your good friends, and be a good friend.  I have to emphasize, be a good listener.  Now and then, we all need our friend to also be a good listener.  I read somewhere that most of us don’t really listen, because we’re thinking of news we want to share about ourselves with the other person.  Sometimes your true friend may need you to just listen…for a while.  Sit back, be calm, don’t fidget, look her in the eye, and just listen.

Being able to see good changes in your life gives you the motivation to move toward making more needed changes.  Feeling more productive and more positive about yourself leads to a healthy transformation that enables you to be a better vessel for what God would have you do for Him. Rather than being burdened by all the things we think we’re not equipped to do, we are free to look forward to all the things we can do.   The following verse has come to mind often recently:  And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.  (Galatians 6:9 NKJV) Are there some changes you need to work on making in your life?  Lean on the help of your friends and your Heavenly Father to help you.