Waiting for Happily Ever After

When I was growing up, Disney movies were my obsession.  I would get hooked on one movie and have to watch it repeatedly for a week or so until I decided on the next one.  It used to drive my mom insane.  I was specifically obsessed with Disney princesses and still am to this day.  I’ve always been fascinated by their love stories and how easy they made it seem.  As a young girl I imagined what it would be like to find my own prince.  I would be in some “damsel in distress type situation,” and he would swoop in and save the day.  Our eyes would meet, we’d break out in song, and live happily ever after!  Sounds nice, doesn’t it?  Well, I have come to learn from much experience that my love life is not a Disney movie.

As a hopeless romantic, whenever I have been in a relationship, I’ve always gone right in head first, giving it my all, even if the guy wasn’t exactly what I thought I should be looking for.  If he was sort of sweet, had similar interests, and said he believed in God, then I thought everything was ok.  I’ve always had the idea that if I said all of the sweet words, bought the right gifts, and catered to what the guy wants, then I would have my happy ending.  Then, when the heartbreak would come, I would be devastated that I had given so much away to be left with nothing.  My focus was always on this earthly relationship that I wanted to have so badly.  I partly wanted it because society made it seem that if I reached a certain age, and wasn’t in a serious relationship, then something was wrong with me.  Then, as I got older, all of my friends started getting engaged and married so quickly.  I kept thinking something was wrong with me.  What was I doing wrong?  What was wrong with me?   I thought maybe if I prayed harder or changed the way I prayed about it, God would answer me – and he was answering me.  It just wasn’t the answer that I wanted.  I wanted my happy ending so badly that whenever a new relationship started, I would take control.  I’d say, “Thanks God!  I’ve got it from here!”  Again, the heartbreak would come, and I’d cry out to God, wondering why he would do this.  I tried to turn to family and friends for answers, but their words didn’t satisfy me: God has someone special for you, your day is coming, you never know who you’ll meet.   I’m sure some of you reading this have been guilty of saying one of those lines.  It’s not that I don’t appreciate the comfort that is meant to be given with those words; they just leave me wanting more answers.

I started looking into what the Bible had to say about dating and marriage.  I wanted to see if there really was a biblical reason for marriage or if it was an earthly desire.  I found the story in Matthew 22 in which Sadducees were asking Jesus about marriage in Heaven.  They were referring to the law Moses gave that if a man dies with no children, then his brother must marry the widow to have children.  They wanted to know which of the men would be her husband in Heaven.  Jesus explained that they didn’t understand that when the resurrection happens, “they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in Heaven” (Matthew 22: 20, ESV).  When Christ comes back for the church, we are going to be joined with him in Heaven.  We won’t need marriage because we will have the presence of God to fill our aloneness.  That is our happily ever after!

So why do we date?  Why do we get married?  I was recently doing a Bible study about dating, and the author gave a great analogy.  He said think about going on a field trip when you were in elementary school.  Did your teacher have you paired up with a friend so you wouldn’t get lost and would look out for each other?  That’s pretty much what God has done for us.  We are on this field trip called “life.”  None of us has reached our destination, so we need some help along the way.  One group God created to help us is the church.  We come together to look after one another and encourage one another (Hebrews 10:25).  Some of us will also get paired with a spouse, or a spiritual travel buddy.  That person isn’t our final destination.  Being one with the Lord is.

I don’t think there was one pivotal moment when I finally understood what God was trying to say.  I just stayed in his word as often as I could.  I prayed constantly for peace of mind about it, and eventually my worry and anxiety about finding a happily ever after faded away.  I finally was just focused on doing right by God each day, and I let it go.  I finally became content with what the Lord had given me in my life, and I wasn’t so worried about what I was missing out on.  I know what my true happily ever after is.  When Jesus takes me home, whether it comes today, tomorrow, or in fifty years, it will be greater than any Disney movie.