When I Grow Up

In Matthew 5, Jesus pulled away from the crowds that were following Him simply because they were curious or enamored with His miracles. He found a private spot on the mountain and sat down with His disciples to talk. And this is what He said…

“Blessed are the poor in Spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven. Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in Heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” Matthew 5:2-11(ESV)

I have done a lot of thinking lately about who I want to be when I grow up. I know I am inclined to look up to those who are successful, those who seem to have it all together, the people who look polished on the outside and reflect what I want to be. There it is- those who reflect what I  want to be. What do I want to be? That’ll make for some deep introspection.

As I read Jesus’ words in Matthew, probably for the hundredth time in my Christian life, it grips me in a new way, and I realize a lump is forming in my throat and tears are springing to my eyes. (Side-note: The Word is SO ALIVE, right?! Changing me EVERY time I read it. Praise God for His Word!  Just had to get that out..end side-note.) I am seeing people I ACTUALLY KNOW in these Words..

“Poor in spirit”- Those who KNOW their need for the Lord. I am thinking right now of a woman that I know, one who is of poor health, yet praises Jesus and loves others with all she has within her. When I look at her, I see the most beautiful dependence on the Lord. I see a stunning relationship with the Creator. I see heart traits that I NEED and WANT in my own heart and life. And there is another, who listens to the Lord when He speaks to her. She has prayed such truth over me and my loved ones, and when she prays, it is palpable that she has been in much communion with Jesus. I want to be like them.

“Those who mourn”- Instantly, tears spring to my eyes as I think of my best friend, who recently lost her brother. Oh, her grief and his death have been one of the most heartbreaking things I’ve witnessed in my life. But God. He has been so near to her, so close you feel His presence. His angels have hovered over her, and I have seen the Holy Spirit pour Himself onto her and come through her in ways I have never witnessed before. She knows Him in ways I don’t. I want to be like her.

“Who hunger and thirst for righteousness”- This one just about sends me to shouting in public. Right now I am thinking of a few close friends who RUN after Jesus. Who adore His Word. Who pursue holiness. Who live freely in His glorious Grace. Who love the truth and they always want more. They are always leaning into God, asking Him to show them more of Who He is. I want to be like them.

“ The Peacemakers”- I’m thinking of my Mama. Who has a soothing spirit and a calm voice. Who loves the truth of God, yet always speaks it with such grace and hospitality. And I’m also thinking of a friend who took the burden of knowing an injustice upon himself, and instead of telling those in his realm of influence about it, he prayed and sought God’s face about it. These are the peacemakers. I want to be like them.

The pure in heart, the merciful, the persecuted..I can conjure an image in my mind of people who embody each of these, and as I consider them, I realize I want to be like them.

I want the Lord to take my heart that looks up to worldly success, or money, or health, or the perfect family life, or pats on the back, and turn it into the kind of heart that LONGS to be the kind of person He spoke of on the mount. I want to be in the group that sits with Him in silence  to listen to Him talk, not the group that follows fast after Him as long as He is doing something for them.

Change me, Lord, to be a person who sees the eternal end of this temporal life. I realize that these spiritual traits are YOUR traits. Help me to be like You when I grow up. Amen.